My brother-in-law once told me, “I thought you were a real B*tch when I met you!”
“Really? Why?”
“You never really talked you were always so quiet. I thought is was because you thought you were too good for us.”
This was a very shocking revelation to me. I am an introvert trying very hard to be somewhat extroverted. It had never occurred to me that some people might take my shyness for snobbishness! Man, oh man, that one stayed with me.
Quiet by Susan Cain
I often find myself in envy of my husband’s ability to navigate through social situations so effortlessly. He enters a super market and takes on a politician like roll of baby kissing and hand shaking. My cart and I sail right past him. I just want to shop and avoid socially awkward situations. And by socially awkward, I mean saying hello. I’m terrible at remembering people’s names. I’m also a little self conscious. When we go to restaurants my husband finds the wait staff’s name tag so he can address the person by name. He makes every encounter so personal. People enjoy talking with him, and everyone stops to say hello, always! I enjoy that about him. I have my extroverted moments. When I taught high school I would need to stand in-front of class after class speaking aloud. I also have no problem addressing groups of parents. Really for me it’s all in the numbers. The more people, the more self induced stress. I enjoy more intimate settings, but only if I am familiar with the participants. Saying hello to an acquaintance of my husbands, whom I’ve never met is not big on the stress meter; nevertheless i do not enjoy it. I find my mind wondering when this friendly chit chat will end, and I can go back to my own thoughts.
My husband hates being alone. When he finds himself at home alone for more than an hour, he sends me texts, “I’m lonely when will you be home?” Really? Gosh, I’d love to switch places with you. He is an extrovert and I am an introvert. I find it harder to be the latter. I enjoy the quiet, and alone moments. I need them to recharge and recenter. I need them to find “me” again. I am often under appreciated, and underestimated, and forgotten. I have six siblings, two of us are introverts. Guess whose birthdays are forgotten the most?
Reading Quiet The Power of Introverts in a world that can’t stop talking, by Susan Cain I found a much needed ego boost! Cain delves into the lives of extroverts and introverts. Society definitely treats those groups of people differently. You can read Quiet by Susan Cain and find out why. Reading Cains book will give you a renewed respect for innovators, brilliant thinkers, heed takers, i.e., introverts!
This post was prompted by the book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a world the can’t stop talking. AuthorSusan Cain explores how introverts can be powerful in a world where being an extrovert is highly valued. Join From Left to Write on January 19 as we discuss Quiet.
Disclosure: As a member of From Left to Write, I received a copy of the book. All opinions are my own.
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I’ve gotten the same thing. Coming off as standoffish when I’m just being shy.
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